Valentine's Massacre

By catie and alittlebitdarkorange on February 18, 2011

Today was Valentine's Day! Naturally, I felt depressed. So I wandered toward Kmart equipped with two peacocks and one donkey named Dolphus IV. My sedan was packed full of fireworks so powerful that I couldn't risk speeding, so instead I chugged along at a grand old speed akin to molasses in molasses. When we finally arrived at Kmart we arranged for our own spectacular entrance. Dolphus IV climbed atop my sedan while cheering like Tarzan. The employees promptly retreated at once and went to hibernate. Peacocks abhor hibernation, so they ignited the fireworks, which cascaded and made glorious midday carnage.