By alittlebitdarkorange and bluesprinkles on October 2, 2004

Turkeys have many practical uses. I personally know of only seventeen, all of which I recommend in my book, "Turkeys in Your Socks and Gravy in Your Eye; Why Did Old Men Choose Such Poultry Traditions and How Did This Silliness Ever Penetrate the Souls of the Poor Lower Class Hispanic Children of Turkey?"

My book is a sham because I'm only 12 years old and also I am a turkey, so obviously I'm unable to take an objective view on the sick practices that North Americans have adopted around my species.

If you have any problems, don't ask me.